Believe it or not, these court transcripts are for real. It's a
shame they couldn't record the reactions of the juries.

X or Y
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?


Zen Law
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


Dead or Alive?
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.